If you've ever dropped by Respectful Insolence, you've probably read the many posts on autism "cures" - in quotes because a child surviving them is a miracle.
Reading the New York Times article on the child deemed "psychopathic" (Damning word, and not an official diagnosis), along with the posts on Respectful Insolence, I've been thinking about children with mental disorder diagnoses and their families, notably the emphasis on parents.
We emphasize parents in the following ways:
1. Their kid's behavior is the parents' fault (Ask a child therapist about this one - their answer can be quite interesting).
2. Their kid's behavior is the kid's fault and most certainly not the parents' - typically applied to kids 12 and older, though sometimes as young as 8. I guess when you hit a certain age, the damage that was inflicted on you when you were younger is no longer relevant.
Subset of 1 and 2 - Oh those poor parents. Even if a kid is unruly due to the parents, we secretly feel bad for those parents because who wants to live with a juvenile delinquent. 2 is obvious.
The kids with diagnoses topic is complicated. I've heard several anecdotes on parents being threatened with a call to CPS for failing to put their kids on drugs for AD/HD - this is problematic because parents often don't realize teachers can't "diagnose" anyone (This is illegal), and pediatricians are often stuck doing AD/HD evaluations and writing prescriptions for stimulants because child psychiatrists aren't common in many parts of the US. I love our pediatrician, but I'm not trusting anyone with minimal neurology and psychiatric education to prescribe psychotropic medication for long-term use for my kid. Give me a referral? Sure. Making that diagnosis? Generally not qualified.
To make things more nasty, school systems will attempt to get out of paying for occupational therapy for kids, even though refusal to provide that as part of IEP is against the law. They'll also fail to tell parents that they can select a private psychologist to evaluate their child instead of the school psychologist, and the school system has to pay for it. Also against the law. And in the case of AD/HD, IQ tests are required for a diagnosis despite the lack of correlation between IQ and AD/HD - IQ tests take a long time to administer and a long time to score, which equals more money than anyone would like to spend.
Even more fun, special education teachers - who are often wonderful - have large classes and at times minimal psych training. This situation is not their fault, but it does affect the quality of education kids get.
It isn't surprising how much we support parents, at least compared to kids. (This is where the autism thoughts come in). At least in my neck of the woods, there are bi-weekly support groups for parents of kids with mental health diagnoses, case managers to help parents get resources for their kids, parenting classes, more support groups. There are national ads featuring happy parents of kids diagnosed with autism, who have received generous support via donations and grant money from viewers like you. Which are incredibly important.
There are no AA, NA, DBSA, survivors of suicide, or any other sort of recovery group for kids, at least where I live. Teens are welcome to join these groups in my area, but they sometimes feel uncomfortable - it's hard to relate to a person who is sober for the first time in twenty years when you haven't even lived that long. There are Al-anon groups, of course - perhaps this post should be more about how there is a lot of support for everyone who isn't "the problem person." For another day, I guess.
I think we forget that kids with mental disorder diagnoses become adults with mental disorder diagnoses. It's got to be a shock to come into adult mental health services with folks going, "Recovery, recovery!" - or even a "I know you're perfectly capable of doing this but I don't trust you to do it, so I'll do it until you buck up" - when we don't really talk to kids about what it means to be in recovery.
We may imply it, but I'm not sure if we ever explicitly say, "Look kid, you're going to grow up someday. You're going to be expected to act a certain way, to get along with everyone else. No one can blame it on your parents once you hit 18, especially you. You can minimize or even eliminate the torment you're experiencing right now. Life doesn't have to suck." Or something along those lines that's in terms the kid can understand.
Just my observation. I'm thinking the peer support movement needs to get more involved in this stuff, for starters. A lot of adults with a diagnosis were a lot of kids with a diagnosis.
To sum up: parents, get a lawyer; mental health workers, talk to kids about moving on with their lives.
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